It's happening again... :/

Last year I hit rock bottom socially. My friends hated me and I wasn't liked by anyone! In some ways I'm glad it happened because it means that I can learn from it and it won't happen again... I was wrong! Everyday I feel myself drifting further and further away from my friends... I think it's going to happen again! Today, as usual, we stood at reception. So I went over to Taryn and Rachel because Harrison, Chloe and Sophie were looking at '4 Pics 1 Word'... AGAIN! So when I went over, Taryn said something like, "That thing we were just talking about..." So I walked away, and naturally I rolled my eyes! Then, 4th lesson, we had biology... Now me loving biology, I get so stressed when I realise that I've done something wrong! So a few people, including myself stayed in a bit at lunch to finish the assessment. Once I'd finished I went to the lockers; the place where we hang out. I saw Taryn and Rachel through the window and they saw me... I knew immediately what they were going to do! So when I got to the lockers they were running down the corridor, so I thought, "Okay... Now I have to try and not act like an idiot..." So, there was this girl in the area... I had to act like I was putting something in my locker. She probably thought, "She just put nothing in her locker... WHAT A FREAK!" As I was about to leave, I saw Taryn and Rachel through the window coming back to the lockers. I didn't want to stay there with them to be honest! So instead of waiting and staying, I went back up to science with Sophie and Saraid. We then came back down and Taryn and Rachel acted like they couldn't even see me... Group mode activated... I stood alone, about to cry because I don't know what's going on, and it seems that everything is happening again, and they don't even care. Until the end of lunch when they said, "Are you okay?" I just stood and grunted at them because I couldn't see why they cared! So, in form I just sat there on my own. Then Taryn said to me, "Did you hear about what happened to Keelan.." I didn't care, but I said no. Then she explained the story. After the bell I went I just walked away because they didn't care, and Taryn told Jazz something... I walked to Tescos, but awkwardly I met up with Taryn's mum... OH DEAR! Then Taryn came in... And they kept sending me messages! I didn't read any of them... I did really. They said things like, "Hey, are you okay? You looked upset!" Yes I was f*****g upset! You ran the f**k away from me! What the f**k do you expect!? Do you want me to run away from you? No? Well... 

Any way. It's Taryn's 14th birthday on Monday.. The 18th! So at 12:30 we are going to McDonald's. Then at 13:00, we are going unlimited bowling. At 15:30 we are going to watch... A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD! Also known as Die Hard 5! WOO HOO! After that, we are going back to Taryn's to watch movies all night! Woo! Depending on whether we are still friends by then! Mehdusfiab! It's Friday tomorrow and I'm going to watch loads of Toby's videos! YEAH!!

I shall see you tomorrow! 

See You!

Ginge Off! 

xx